BIG TUNES: Mykki Blanco | She Gutta

I’ve thought it over and this is what I’ve come up with: best-case scenario, you die a painless death. Your family, friends, and people who begrudgingly respect you attend your funeral. The pallbearers don’t drop your casket even though the funeral home you chose for your big day has very steep front steps, and the hearse that takes your body away has a large but tasteful flame decal on its hood. You’re buried with a bunch of expensive things, and your body wastes away until you’re just a skeleton with a lot of jewelry on your knuckles. You hang out in your grave for fifty years (give or take), until a man with a shovel tries to raid your casket, and—best case scenario—when he cracks the lid open, Mykki Blanco’s “She Gutta” starts playing so loudly that he picks up his shovel and decides to dig up a quieter grave.

Worst-case scenario, the man turns down the music, and grave robs you and the quiet grave next to yours anyway.